First steps in addressing conflict. 5 tactics one can use.

Here are some good first steps that I found on Mind Tool  to address conflict or disagreements is to address the issues early,  Here are some first steps you need to do before sitting and having that conversation.   

 1. Raise the Issue Early

·        Keeping quiet only lets resentment fester. Equally, speaking with other people first can fuel rumor and misunderstanding.

·        Find an office or quiet room where you can speak in private and not interrupted.

·        Have a witness if possible if speaking to peer to peer have your manager or HR involved.  

So, whether you're battling over the thermostat or feel that you're being micromanaged, be direct and talk with the other party. However, if you're afraid of making that approach, or worry that it may make the problem worse, speak with your manager first, or your HR department, your  if the other party is your manager.

Either way, be assertive (not aggressive) and speak openly. This will encourage others to do the same – and you can get to the root cause of a problem before it escalates.

2. Manage Your Emotions

Choose your timing when you talk to someone about the conflict. If you're angry, you may say something you'll regret and inflame the situation. Be careful to avoid playing the blame game.   

·        Sometimes you might to wait a day before you address the concerns if you are feeling angry.

·        So stay calm, collect yourself, and ask, "What is it I want to achieve here?", "What are the issues I'm having?" and "What is it that I would like to see?"

Tip: See our article Managing Your Emotions for more insight and tips.

3. Show Empathy

When you talk to someone about a conflict, it's natural to want to state your own case, rather than hear out the other side. But when two people do this, the conversation goes in circles.

·        Instead, invite the other party to describe their position, ask how they think they might resolve the issue, and listen with empathy .  

·         Remember someone might be going thru some difficult challenges at home or personally that is cause a change in their behavior. 

·        Putting yourself in the other person's shoes is an essential part of negotiation. This helps you to build mutual respect and understanding – and to achieve an outcome that satisfies both parties.

4. Practice Active Listening

To identify the source of the conflict you have to really listen. To listen actively:

• Paraphrase the other party's points to show you're listening and really understand them.
• Look out for non-verbal signals that contradict what they are saying, such as a hesitant tone behind positive words. Bring these out into the open sensitively to address them together.
• Use appropriate body language, such as nodding your head, to show interest and to make it clear that you're following them..

5. Acknowledge Criticism

Some of the things the other person tells you may be difficult to hear. But remember that criticism or constructive feedback is about job behaviors and not you as a person.

So, keep an open mind and use criticism to help you to identify areas to improve, perform better next time, and grow.